Mar 14, 2013 | Blog

De-Stress Your Thinking

Engage Your People
Develop Your Workforce

In general, thinking is a good thing. After all, rational thought is one of the hallmarks of being human. Being thoughtful means having considered something thoroughly, while thoughtlessness implies careless or rash behavior.  This is especially true at work. Thinking is often equated with intelligence: smart people think more and better than others, and therefore have greater insight and make better decisions. There are now numerous courses, applications and websites dedicated to helping us improve the way we think. 

 
But while thinking is generally a good thing, sometimes our own thoughts can get in the way of constructive decision-making and action. Excessive worry, self-doubt and regret are all examples of unconstructive thought.

Unconstructive thinking is especially prevalent when you are under stress for an extended period of time. You may notice that during times of chronic stress and uncertainty, your thought patterns can change profoundly. These changes include:

  • More thoughts and faster thoughts. You may become aware of what seems like a nonstop narrative going on in your mind. Nothing escapes comment!
  • Repetitive thinking. Your thoughts can also become more repetitive and more focused on the negative and threatening aspects of your experience. 
  • Extreme and judgmental thinking. You start thinking in terms of what always and never happens, how others should act, and how the situation you’re in is impossible and could turn into a complete disaster! …even though all you’re doing is waiting in a checkout line.

Stressed-out thinking can lead to a loss of productivity, inability to concentrate, emotional reactivity, and poor decision-making. It’s a very poor use of some high grade neural circuitry! So if you’re caught in a cycle of stressful thinking, what can you do to get out of it? Here’s a hint:  It’s not about changing what you say to yourself, but rather how you listen to yourself.

Your mind is constantly generating thoughts of all kinds. Thoughts that are brilliant, ignorant, generous, selfish, critical and confident, realistic and ridiculous. That’s what the mind does, it’s a thought machine. While you have some control over those thoughts, it’s not as much as you may think.  There is no point in trying not to think about something. While this may work in the short term, over the long run it’s a recipe for disaster. 

On the other hand, where you do have control is in which thoughts you listen to and act on. By turning your focus from the external environment to your internal one, you can begin to better understand, manage, and change your stressed-out thinking patterns. Here are the steps to get you there.

  • Recognize when you’re stressed. The next time you are stressed out, notice what it feels like.  What are your habitual thought patterns? What do you notice physically? Do you feel tight or shaky? Hot or cold? Remember these things so the next time you get stressed out, you will realize it quickly. Realizing and understanding your own state is half the battle.
  • Don’t believe everything you think. Subject your thoughts to an impartial review. Has he really been out to get me since day one? Will you definitely lose the account because you missed that call? What’s the evidence? Just because you think it does not make it true, no matter how insistent your internal dialog may be. 
  • Choose your company. Thoughts are like stray cats:  the ones you pay attention to will stick around and the others will eventually wander off. It’s very tempting to get fixated on your negative thoughts, especially when they are extreme and dramatic. It’s best to recognize these thoughts but don’t get stuck with them.  See if you can think of a more neutral interpretation of events, and focus on why that approach makes sense. Or check your reasoning by getting the opinion of someone else whose judgment you trust.
  • Be kind and patient with yourself. The last thing you want to do is beat yourself up about being stressed out, or about worrying to much or having a short fuse. Simply notice that your mind is  ‘under the influence’ of stress right now, and you shouldn’t make any quick decisions.  When you’re stressed out, it’s better not to listen to your gut. 
  • Practice listening. Spend some time consciously tuning in to your internal dialog. What is your mind saying to you right now? What thoughts seem to keep popping up? Are they realistic? Is the tone of voice helpful? By listening to your own thought patterns carefully and objectively, you will be better able to deal with them when you are stressed. One of the best ways to do this is through mindfulness meditation, a simple mental exercise that you can practice for ten minutes a day (or longer), or whenever necessary. Meditation can significantly reduce stress by allowing you gain greater insight into your own mind.

As you begin to pay conscious attention to your thoughts instead of simply reacting to them or following them blindly, you will learn more and more about the ins and outs of how your mind works and how it responds to stress, as well as other types of situations. This self-knowledge is invaluable, and will help you to stay on track during difficult times, and get back on track more quickly when you need to.

 

Andy Lee is a partner at Working Mindfully, a firm that offers mindfulness training and mindfulness-based coaching and consulting to organizations. Andy has worked with corporations to assess and develop their leadership talent for over 15 years, both as a talent management executive and an executive coach and consultant. During this time he has also studied and practiced meditation.  In 2010 Andy merged his two passions to provide mindfulness-based leadership development services to organizations. Andy holds an MA in Organizational Psychology and a certificate in executive coaching, and has been trained in mindfulness instruction at the University of Massachusetts Center for Mindfulness.